The Cross of Marriage

I am going to continue the theme of Marriage for another day and write about the cross that is part of marriage.

I remember the homily at Mr. T's and I wedding mass was NOT sugar coated, the homilist spoke very candidly on how the vocation of marriage would not always be easy, it would entail dying to oneself and taking up the cross of marriage.

The purpose of a Catholic marriage is to resemble the Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Love is exemplified in the Trinity, when the Son gives of His life on the cross for His beloved. This same gift of self is to be demonstrated in marriage on a daily basis.

Mr. T and I choose a very unpopular bible passage to be read for our second reading, Ephesians 5:22-31...

Wives should be subordinate to their husbands

as to the Lord.

For the husband is head of his wife

just as Christ is head of the church, 

he himself the savior of the body.

As the church is subordinate to Christ, 

so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, 

even as Christ loved the church 

and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, 

cleansing her by the bath of water with the word,

that he might present to himself the church in splendor, 

without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

So (also) husbands should love their wives 

as their own bodies. 

He who loves his wife loves himself.

For no one hates his own flesh 

but rather nourishes and cherishes it, 

even as Christ does the church,

because we are members of his body.

"For this reason a man shall leave 

(his) father and (his) mother 

and be joined to his wife, 

and the two shall become one flesh."      

Usually, every time I have a discussion with someone about this bible passage, it is due to the words of "wives be submissive to your husbands" yes, I will agree if those words were to stand alone, by themselves, and if that is what the entirety of a Christian marriage would be, well than I might have different thoughts on the vocation of marriage.  But, luckily, for all women out there, and for all wives, that is NOT the entirety of the bible passage.   

The husband actually, in my mind, has a much greater responsibility, the Husband is not simply called to love his wife, but, to lay down his life for his bride, and not just lay it down in some oh, I will be kind and gentle, and let her have her way sometimes, but, to lay down his life as Christ laid down His life for the Church. 

Wow, I am not sure about you but those are some pretty tall orders, to lay down one’s life, that is what Christ did when He died on the cross for His bride, the Church, and that is exactly what is expected of the Husband in a marriage. It is when that is done, that the wife can trustingly be submissive to one’s husband. 

I realize that this is speaking of the theology of marriage and that it can be a different story when one is in the middle of marriage. 

So stay tuned, their just might be a part three of marriage, which focuses on the daily dying of oneself along with the daily joys found in marriage. 

Blessings,

Joy